Thursday, August 4, 2011

Laughing in the rain...

So, it’s raining here today right….

Let me paint a picture in your mind of just how my owners morning started…

[I sit behind the gate (because I must stay home) and watch as this ridiculous fiasco unfolds...

Running late as usual – she's gotta get the kids to school - hasn't even touched her coffee – Parrot is screaming riot for his biscuit  - which they’ve totally forgotten, and no matter how I stare and indicate to fill my food bowl - I can see it ain't gonna happen this morning...
Right, so they're seriously late, and it’s pouring with rain. Both those brats, (Nasile and Megan) have decided to don their boots, bags AND umbrellas (what's wrong with a bit a rain for I ask you??) Of course as the excitement builds (gum-boot-dancing on their way to the car) so the rain begins to fall harder and harder too!  (Note: my owner HAS NO umbrella, as the hands are already laden with handbag, files, gizmos, gadgets, etc,  oh – and a sheet for the car…) See on this day.... (ha ha) she happens to have the bosses 2 dogs along too! (fortunately they’re not sporting umbrellas and boots, but they DO have 8 very muddy paws between them..... (wha ha haa haaaaaa!!!.... can you imagine how I'm enjoying this?)
So rush-rush, and in an attempt to synchronise the whole load-in process, she whips open the back door – like a cowboy getting the first shot in a duel - and in a single motion she flips the sheet over the back seat – (Wow! but none the less a pathetic attempt to spare the seats from the muddy onslaught coming it’s way!) 
Then, before she knew it, the dogs were flying in to get front row seats – (I coulda told her that! it's to beat the dumb brats who obviously don’t act fast enough - durrr!) Right… too late to do anything about that, she attempts to load the kids...
Now it’s pissing with rain!! - and I can see how her fake coat (she calls it a fancy parker...) aka a bath sponge! is just sucking up each and every drop! [She's soaked! - and pissed off!]
But… they're not finished yet…. Oblivious to her calculated attempts, the kids are totally distracted and in their silly little imaginary worlds, and they’re dancing with juvenile delight beneath their protective little umbrellas… (you call those critters cute???)
THEN.. she decides it's time for that almightly command… “Get in the car kids -  NOW!!!!" Jeeeezuz, thos brats were brutally brought back from their bubbles of delirium! So they gun for the car - at opposite sides of each other!  [I thought it canna get betta than this!!!!]

Well, that’s not the end of it…Oh no, it only got worse…  That little xhosa warrior shouts “Wehnay – I konna close it! -  Wehnaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!” (Nasile (4) and umbrella (tricky) are squarely stuck in the door…) and from the other side I hear “Mommy!!! – can you help me here pleeeeease!! I’m stuck!!” – Here I look on how my owner contemplates exploring an out of body experience (I've seen it in her eyes before - belieeeeve me!) She breathes deeply (by now I’m actually holding my breath, because I’m practically laughing out loud!) Anyway, (and what followed was brutal) She folded Nasile and his umbrella in one go – like those old fashioned stainless steel concertina pot rests? - snap! and squished him in, flung around the car and pretty much used her foot to boot poor Meg in, as her umbrella had mutated into some hissing mad demon! [I'm on the floor here!!!!! these people are crazy!]

…. I don’t remember how she got in, but when she did, I heard Megan say…. “Mommy, can you put the music on please!!!”

You gotta love the humans!

Till next time - Lorrs

the brats, Megan & Nasile

Friday, April 8, 2011

That Buddy dog irritates me... but the kid is cute.

I've long since said that Toyota obviously didn't have much of a budget for talent - which is why Buddy got the gig.... But my god, he has such attitude lately, like's he's just the main dawg in town. arrrgh!

Now, I'm not much of a Toyota fan you see, (and would've turned the job down anyway)
but see if VW were interested in kicking some hairy ass - I'd be more than willing to talk... ja know... My mom drives a VW, now that's a car!

Anyway, stumbled across this little skiet (click da link below dummy) - cute kid, but Buddy remains a sodding politically correct brindle...

Grrrr this dumb dawg...


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Mine, mine, mine...

I got a new bed! Mom said I've been such a darlin, it's time she promote me from the couch to my very own "baskie". So I set things straight with the cats whilst doing my initial "toil and tramp" of my new throne - they so much as brush up agaist it, we can do away with them kitty bowls on top of the fridge! It's funny how cats get to lie down on absolutely anything - table tops, couches, beds even! and no one (in my household) really objects???  I tested this phenomena once, and tried to slide onto the kitchen table unnoticed, whilst my ma was plating something for the kid... well, that was bad timing!!! Next time I'll use less subtlety. But for now, the "baskie" is for the "doggie" only, capiche?

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Gwannies are da best

Ya know, gwanny didn't fancy me too much when I first arrived.... Not that she doesn't like dogs - she loves dogs. (Truth is she doesn't like cats, ha ha ha ha ha!!!) But, once she got to know me... Now I'm the favourite gwanchild!

PS Dis iz MY gwanny, capiche?



Wednesday, November 24, 2010

We're having a braai

My mom's got the family comin round tonight fir a braai! I dig a braai. I'm sure all the other dogs around the world are infact partly deprived for just thus reason - they don't do braai!! From the moment mom checks that boerie sausage for quality, I'm on board with the quality team - taste, sample, catch what falls, finish what the kid don't want, and the grand finale... "this piece is for Lorrs"
Aye, it's a good life in South Africa!



Monday, November 22, 2010

Introducing myself


Right, I'm Lorrs. Without too much of a intro, I'll put it in a dog bowl fir ya. I'm the most intellegent dog ever. got it? I totally beat that flea-riddled Toyota mutt, who's had to practice his lines at nauseam, before they decided to just cover his mouth with a fake one, 'cause the guy drools so much!   Argh, what film producers know about dogs can be a hollow bone...
Anyway, as I was saying, I'm the dog ok. so like if ever you wanna name drop - drop mine, and you'll be on a winning streak. (that is if you follow me of course)

So I live with my owner, and her kid - love the two of them, they treat me real good. I'm not supposed to say too much about my family, because my own blog was on that very condition. Rules, grrrrrr!
But, I will from time to time share with you stories of my life, and what goes on in our lives. PS. I'm a white boxer, so if you don't already know this, I'm p-r-e-t-t-y lucky to be alive! (Guess it was that cute black spot on my eye that saw me through!)

And as we get to know each other, I'll tell you more and more about what my family gets up to, what we like, the obstacles and joyrides we face and generally what goes on behind the scenes.

Look, I say it how it is (or how I feel about it) so comment if you like, I might take you seriously or not... depends. Either way, you're free to read or not to read. Capiche?

On the other paw, we're also in the planning stages to form a unique group to fight the crime of cruelty to animals in and around the winelands. (we'll cover the globe if we could, but let's begin small as they say). Based here at home (in the Cape Winelands) we aim to involve volunteers and raise funds for our local SPCAs and other sanctuaries - a Winelands Anti-cruelty to animals movement (yeah, called Wacam! - get it? "Wack-em") so keep in touch to see how this develops! (I have special permission to still chase our cats ok - it's not classified as cruel)

So in the next few posts to come, you'll slowly get to know me and the family a little better. Understand our love for all things good, and our zero tollerance to animal abusers, and idiots.

Ruff - ruff!